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The Austin Texas singles dating scene finally explained

200k men and 180k women of the typical dating age in austin. 321k out of 380k are married. This means the single population in Austin proper is 59k, with 1/2 of this population leaning towards having more single available men than women. And even more older men with money staying in austin. This sets the stage ( continued )

Many people move here from out of town. I think Austin is one of the top transient cities in the US. The University of Texas is located in the middle of downtown and it being the capital city of Texas money flows from the capital to everyone working to keep the capital going.

This means as the money flows, business tries to attract, entertain, compete for people’s attention. This is what happens in my opinion. ( continued )

So gals move here, sometimes for work, sometimes for a boyfriend. If they stay in the relationship they came here for there is a high likelihood they’ll get married. Those gals are off the market.

Gals that get out of the relationship they came here for are not interested usually in dating right away. In fact they focus on work, their health, doing fun stuff, then they seek female friends, then they eventually seek a date.

Guys, they come here for work or to start a new life maybe because they were bored with their old town or did not find the women they wanted or moved to be closer to family.

Guys pretty much immediately look for dates. So right off being that ( see statistics above ) there are more men than women, there are more rich older men than women in austin, this means any event you go to will be single guy heavy and they will be looking to not be single. Where as a decent amount of women are not ready yet to date. This creates a deficit. We haven’t even gotten into factoring in people’s likes, dislikes, or preferences, or flaky behaviors, apps, etc. but this at is core is already not equal.

Now on to what they term the Peter Pan syndrome. Remember Austin is home to bumble headquarters. Feminism has reconfigured the male-female sexual dynamic.

In the far past you’ve heard of chivalry. Here’s where some of that started.

1,000 ad, rules were put in place to control or to manage powerful and physically violent types so they would be more manageable.

Heard of a chivalrous man? So romance novels and other media influences the social fabric in the past. When men used to make a $1.00 to woman that would make on average 36% less, and women were not allowed to have credit cards and had additional challenges making things not equal, one cultural adaptation made in the US was that women would wait, and men would ask a woman out. On the date the man would take care of her. Demonstrate he had the ability to do so and pay for everything. Addition of Hallmark holidays and diamond commercials being a marketing design pushed the idea that romance was a guy spending his money on a woman in order to prove their love and keep them married forever.

Fast forward to modern times. Women are making certainly more money than they were in the past, and in some areas making more money than their male counterparts. The original intention for chivalry was to provide a display of resources for a woman to feel comfortable raising a family. Well with women making more they no longer need the display of resources because they can buy their own meal.

So with less women needing men for resources that tends to mean men are useful for now other things besides just money. Maybe it is money and looks or money and entertainment or status.

Getting back to the Peter Pan syndrome. So many people moving to austin. That means bars thrive. With all these bars they all need to market to make money daily. This means lots of money goes into grabbing your attention daily. So everyone distracted. Go to this event here, meet these people there. Facebook notifying you every 10 seconds, bumble, tinder app pinging you have a match. Newsletter emails hitting you 24/7. So with everyone distracted it’s tough to create and maintain a real connection. With male/female ratios not 50/50 this means more intense male competition for female attention.

Lastly, most or many don’t want to settle. Ever gone to the grocery store and seen a stack of bananas and you picked out the soggy black ones out of a stack of perfect yellow bananas ? Probably not. Similarly in Austin people don’t want to settle. They moved here to start over, make a new career, so they don’t want to settle with just any person they find. On apps many just want visually attractive people. This is possibly because some apps like bumble show big pictures and only give room for small text. This means that 90% of singles want and actively persue the top 5-10% of singles . This means that those 5-10% have 10-100s of messages where at those average people get 0-2 messages every once in awhile.

Conclusion – many don’t see the bubble Austin is. Perhaps that’s because they haven’t traveled often or around the world to really compare? Many seem to think Austin is just like the rest of the world or just like other cities. I don’t think it is. I think it’s a melting pot where the rules have made the dating game competitive it’s just everyone that’s singles doesn’t realize who they are competing against. So you go along wandering and wondering why are things hard. Well it’s because the top 5-10% are hogging up all the messages on the apps, at events the ratio is imbalanced because the population is larger male. Males also tend to attend certain kinds of events more than others. Nothing wrong with yoga but for example when is the last time you’ve seen 95% men at a yoga class?

In this conclusion the scene only gets better if people wake up and are able to remove their bias. If you become aware of what is actually going on you can begin to navigate the waters. If you pretend there is nothing going on you Will remain lost. – Matthew Winters

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